Or how to stay at home when you don’t want to.

I’m a city girl at heart, and when my friends and family heard that we were moving to Brunei they were a little concerned. What about the shopping? What about the nights out with friends? Seriously, what about the shopping? Do not worry, I reassured them. I’ve done four winters in Moscow. I can deal with Brunei. And now, in these times of social distancing, the skills I learned there are proving to be surprisingly useful.

Moscow was a fabulous city, but even when you have great public transport and world class museums, ice and snow and very low temperatures would discourage you from spending a serious amount of time outdoors. Flights could be cancelled due to weather and as we didn’t have a car, even if the roads were clear it was often a bother or too expensive to hire a taxi. So, we got used to spending a lot of time at home, and not seeing many (any) other people for days on end. This is how we did it.

Plan (imaginary) holidays for when you can actually travel

An enforced break at home can often mean that you have time to think about what you’d really rather be doing. Fancy Thai food more than is strictly healthy? Do some reading about Thailand. Fantasising about excessive amounts of Starbucks? Plan a road trip in the US. Longing for fields and walks and cosy evenings by a fire? Research the Yorkshire Dales. The point is here that you don’t ever actually have to go to on these trips, so push the boat out. Look at the amazing hotels, crazy sunsets and enormous meals and then, when you surface from your laptop, you can relish the fact that you haven’t gained 35lbs from eating American pancakes, haven’t spent a months salary on a hotel made entirely of bamboo and smiles and you will probably never have to walk up a hill unless you’re forced to. Of course, if you’re so inclined you can book all these things and have actually dates in your diary where you will get off the sofa and leave the house. Well done you.

Do things together as a family (separately)

I’m always impressed when I see families playing board games together, cooking together and being jolly together, especially in a slow motion montage. Obviously I only ever see these families on TV. Real life (in our house) is somewhat different. Something that worked for us when we would be stuck in our apartment for days on end would be to do what we as individuals want to do, but in the same location (volume and mess permitting) so we have the physical closeness that people do need but without having to actually communicate. Open plan living really lends itself well to this. So, let the kids paint while you read a book and your spouse idly watches TV. Just because you’re together doesn’t mean you have to do the same things. But if you do, please put it on Facebook so the rest of us can feel inadequate as we try and justify excessive time on iPads as “research” (see above) or hours spent doing Minecraft as “geography” or internet shopping as “economic stimulation”. In the meantime I shall get back to watching Mad Men and pretend it’s an intellectual exercise examining the rise of modern culture and feminism while really I just like watching Jon Hamm in a suit.

Stick to a routine (or not)

Some families stuck inside over the winter would be almost gleeful at the start of their winter hibernation. A new timetable would surface, with ice skating and cross country skiing and extra music lessons and and and oh gosh I’m exhausted at the memory of them. While it is important to get up and not laze around, being stuck at home for any length of time requires a little more flexibility and, much as I hate to use the word, chill. You can’t spend every day in your pyjamas watching TV, but every now and then doesn’t hurt anyone. When the daily routine has already taken a change, mixing things up does everyone good. Have cereal for dinner, have a picnic in a bedroom, spend the day watching an entire series of movies from start to finish. And then, the next day, get up, get dressed and follow the usual routine. It will feel a little easier.

This too will pass

The thing about winters in Moscow is that Spring would come eventually. There would always be a few extra snowfalls and drops in temperature just to taunt you when you thought the worst was over, but one day you’d realise that the coat you were wearing felt odd. And the odd feeling is that you were warm again, despite being outdoors, and you’d made it through another winter.

There are no fix-all tips or tricks that work for everyone when forced to stay at home for any extended length of time. Have patience, be gentle with yourself, and others. Move your body and do things that you enjoy, and sometimes do things that you don’t enjoy that much but make others happy (see Minecraft above). Eat the biscuits, watch the TV and stay in touch with the people you like the best. You don’t need to make use of the time if you don’t want to; there isn’t a timesheet at the end to fill out to say what you’ve been doing. Getting through is absolutely enough. And as for the shopping? Well, ASOS and M&S deliver in four days so as long as they can get through, so will I. With Jon Hamm for company.